1. If ur world is spining Round &
Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its
called high B/P...
2. When i open my eyes every
morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should
only i suffer!!!
3. Last night I lay in my bed
looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the
fuck is my roof
4. At dis moment in time 10
million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million
people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
5. Birdy birdy in the sky dropped
a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't
fly!
6. The rain makes all things
beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t
it rain on you?
7. God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested
8. ><(((:>I send dis fish as a
sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile
in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)
9. I want u 2 know dat our
friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window...
I look down & den... i lauf again
10. One day Raja and rani decided
to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next
day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She
told stupid "This was a missed call"
11. MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar.
Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
12. Terrorists have kidnapped our
lecturers... and demanded a ransom of Rs500000 or else they will burn them with
kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.
13. Can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need
it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to
ATM machine???????
14. Why do couples hold hands
during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers
shaking hands b4 the fight begins !
15. Husband asks, Do you know the
meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.
16. Girl friends are like mobile
phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry
check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and
enjoy.
17. PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls
hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time
500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
102 Characters
How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
125 Characters
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
137 Characters
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.
154 Characters
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
94 Characters
Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
81 Characters
Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions
137 Characters
Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
156 Characters
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
156 Characters
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
163 Characters
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats.
94 Characters
Kake 2 maid: Oh Banta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Banta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
160 Characters
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
144 Characters
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
143 Characters
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
Two days of power cut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
162 Characters
How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
109 Characters
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
165 Characters
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
145 Characters
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
166 Characters
Santa falls in
love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
114 Characters
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long...!
96 Characters
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
113 Characters
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
112 Characters
Lady to inspector Santa: My
husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn't came back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else?
133 Characters
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
186 Characters
An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
126 Characters
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
132 Characters
Jeeto yelled at santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind, which one is it gonna be!
124 Characters
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where..
151 Characters
Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying furiously...
Finally, santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.
143 Characters
Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"
175 Characters
Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
118 Characters
History teacher asked Santa: Name kalidas's brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas
87 Characters
Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The stearing, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.
178 Characters
Santa giving exam while standing at the door.
A man asked "Why are you standing at the door?"
Santa: "Idiot, I am giving entrance test."
138 Characters
Santa: Mom, last night when I opened the toilet door, the light went on itself.
Mother: Idiot, you again peed in the refrigerator!
